I hate this feeling

Being without the woman I love and knowing that all I have to do to be in her arms again is get on a plane and never look back at what could have been in Southern California, while simultaneously not being able to get on that airplane because I know it would lead to a lifetime of looking back, is the hardest thing I've ever had to do emotionally, because that plane is just an hour and a couple hundred dollars away. I know that if I gave in and left graduate school behind for her (before it even started), I would be selling both of us and our future together short, but the logic of the argument doesn't make holding back easier. In any case, a month from now I'll be able to get on that plane and see her for a few days with a clear mind over my birthday weekend, and in any case our situation is trivial compared to what other couples have faced in their time.

In this very moment, I can understand all of the crazy things people do for love, such as pine very publicly and write in long sentences. At least there is a history of great men who have all done the same for women in thier days.