Damn, that's good

Dorkstar Charles Petzold says “Avoid the deep-fried Snickers bars. Those things violate basic laws of the universe.” Brother is is just plain wrong on this topic and I will call him out on it.

A liquid Snickers bar encased in a crunchy fried shell is akin to Jesus descending from the heavens and telling everyone to put down the guns, dress to the finest, grab their substance of choice and go fornicate with someone special… because in the end love will rule the day.

Yes, they're just that good.

We got the flow down, but we don't ebb so good

It occurs to me that we have no insight into the cost of our everyday actions in terms of natural resource utilization. I wound up talking to a fellow yogi about environmental matters after class (I know what you're thinking... "A computer scientist and yoga practitioner of Indian origin! How novel!") and it dawned on me little attention is paid to this in the capitalist structure we all know and love.

How much does an adult salmon really cost if catching it involves dredging rivers and it never has the chance to get its funk on and replenish the salmon stock in the rivers. How much does a piece of machinery cost if it cannot be unformed again into its constituent elements by natural processes? How much should it cost to raze a strip of arable land to put up a strip mall?

I feel like if we could accurately portray the cost of such resource usage, we would have radically different economic structures, products and design considerations. It’s not about cost in terms of paper money… it’s about cost in terms of finite resources. If we make products and use business models that conserve and replenish finite resources in their production, then we will automatically save money, because it required fewer resources to create the products. It works in theory anyway.

What would Kurt Russell do?

It's not often that I have so much to say that I cannot write anything, but today is one of those days. I could write about at least ten things today, so I'll write about the one that most concerns me. I went out with my roommates last night for a pre-sushi drink at a restaurant called Zubie's Dry Dock, and they wouldn't give me, "Zubie", a free beer.

That is messed up. In fact, when I made the suggestion at the bar, the bartender said that she would send over the owner, but I never saw anyone matching the description and no one approached me. If it were a more common name, this would be excusable, but now the son of a bitch must pay.

I’m going back to get my free beer, and if I’m not back by sunrise, call the president.

Gay or just European?

I got an offer to be covered in grease today by one of the caterers at a company barbeque. He was in the midst of reloading a tray of hot food at the buffet.

Him: Can you move back a step please?
Me: Sure.
Him: I just wanted you to take a step back because it’s greasy.
Me: Got it.
Him: Not that you would look bad covered in grease.
Me: Umm, can I get another one of those? (to someone else)
Him: Another helping of grease?
Me: !?!

In retrospect, I think the problem was the Capri pants that I wore today which I bought in Sicily when I ran out of clothes. In Orange County the semantics of such an action are obviously umm... different than intended.

World Perks Silver Elite

I just spent two and a half weeks in Palermo and Istanbul. I would love to inscribe a spellbinding tale of adventure in lands where history drips from the stone walls, but it’s late. It would also be easier to guide you toward the pictures on Flickr, which will be up shortly once I get my memory card in the mail (there’s a story behind that one). I cannot in good conscience say nothing, however, so here is what comes to the top of my head.

First, the architecture and food in Palermo are the unforgettable and magical result of waves of invasions by Romans, Arabs, Normans and North Africans. There is nothing like shards of textiles arranged by Islamic artisans upon the nave of a medieval chapel. Or, for that matter, the combination of sardines, fennel, raisins, pine nuts, and saffron over pasta.

Second, Turkish people are the friendliest people I have ever encountered. They will go out of their way to be hospitable, to the point of driving lost tourists to their destinations. Unless you are a foriegner and there is a financial transaction involved. Then they will try to catch you with your pants around your ankles.

Third, an American expatriate living in Istanbul asked me what I would tell people about the city. I guess my response is that it is both old and new, beautiful and tragic, familiar and unfamiliar. I do not think I will ever understand it. It will capture your heart and disappoint you in turns, and you should go there. Now.

From a Somewhat Achiever

I was just watching a recorded episode of the Colbert Report. The guest was Alexandra Robbins (yes, she's cute), who discussed over achievement in the high school and college experience. It made me think about the standards by which we measure achievement. What is achievement? At what point have we achieved something? Is there not always something more to achieve, whether a healthier lifestyle or financial success or exotic vacations? Another interesting question is whether we are using achievement as a placeholder for dominance over others. Because it seems to me like that is what achievement means in American society, which is disturbing. I would prefer if achievement meant dominance over one’s own faults or making positive contributions towards a better society.

Moreover, why is a show that invents words like “truthiness” making me question the foundations of society? Ugh. One would think that after five hundred years of development that someone besides the king’s fool would grow a pair and start shaking things up. As it is, all we have is our modern day Touchstones over at Comedy Central.

Getting drunk with the Kool Aid man.

Today the news broke that IBM intends to acquire the company that I currently intern for, FileNet, in an effort to bolster their information management package, and this afternoon management herded us into conference rooms for a fresh batch of Kool-Aid. For most employees this brew was refreshingly tasty and full of positive news, but for me it presents a conundrum. Do I want to work next year doing exactly the same thing that I am doing now, only for the IBM juggernaut?

I have not had the level of success, sense of personal development, or feeling of camaraderie at the larger companies I have worked for that I have had at the smaller ones. I suspect a large part of this is due to the general environment of smaller software development companies, which thrust responsibility on me and people in my age bracket because they could not afford or find anyone better. Even FileNet in its current state feels a little bit large to me, although the skill level of the employees in the engineering group is fantastic and I learn a lot from them, which makes the bureaucracy and lack of jokes about one’s mother worth it.

Now I face an interesting twist in the road at FileNet, one that may lead me down an unexpected path. Now just watch me sprain my ankle in a pothole.